Finding out I have cancer.

Finding out I had cancer was something I never thought would happen to me. Finding out I had anal cancer was even more stunning. If I were going to get cancer, shouldn’t it be breast cancer?  My first words when the doctor told me was, Really? , I see. I wasn’t totally shocked when he told me because while I was still in the colonoscopy room dozing in and out of consciousness, I heard the  doc quietly dictating my report.  He must have thought  I was still under the influence of  the narcotics and oblivious to what he was saying. And although I was definitely under the influence of the narcotics, I remember consciously trying to pay attention to what was going on in the room when they first started putting me under. The anesthesia that I received  didn’t knock me out totally 100 percent of the time, so towards what must have been the end of the procedure, I thought I heard him say something that had to do with the word “lesion”.  After being brought into recovery post colonoscopy, the nurse came in and said the doctor would be in shortly to discuss the results. Still sleepy from the anesthesia, I remember quietly crying a few tears, thinking to myself, I thought I heard him say something about a lesion, but dismissed the thought in the next few moments, not being totally sure if what I had  heard was correct due to the drug induced state of mind I was in. But, then came in Dr. H. where my suspicions were confirmed. He said, “well, you have anal cancer, possible rectal”.  We’ll have to wait for the biopsy report to be sure, but I’m pretty sure it’s anal. “If it’s anal cancer, it’s highly treatable with radiation/chemotherapy. My Dad was with me, and was in shock. He came over, kissed me on my forehead and began shedding a few quiet tears. Emotions of shock , disbelief  and fear touched us both. Wow, I had anal cancer. Thus, a new chapter in my life had  begun, a new journey that I didn’t want take.

Isaiah 41:10 “Do not fear, for I am with you; be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

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8 Responses to Finding out I have cancer.

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